


Desire, Like a Monster

by soyxunxperdedor



Category: The Forsaken (2001)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 12:53:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10742097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soyxunxperdedor/pseuds/soyxunxperdedor
Summary: Nick can't sleep.





	Desire, Like a Monster

The only thing Nick knows for certain is that he is absolutely, irrevocably, fucked.

And it's not even because of the vampire virus time bomb racing around his veins, no, that would be too simple.

It's because of the arm curled oh so fucking casually across his bare waist, the weight so comfortable it makes him want to scream.

In the dim light of the motel room Nick’s eyes trace over the arm to the body it’s attached to. Sean is sleeping soundly on his stomach beside him, his face pressed into the pillow, soft almost-snores spilling from his parted lips. Nick gets caught up in Sean’s eyelashes. He doubts he’s ever noticed anyone’s eyelashes before, but Sean’s are beautiful, the way they fan out across his cheeks. Those fucking cheeks, Nick’s pretty sure he never noticed anyone’s cheeks before either, doesn't even know how there's anything about _cheeks_ that can be so goddamn appealing, but there's something so fucking delicate about them, it drives him up a wall.

Nick drops his head onto his pillow with a frustrated sigh. Sean’s skin is hot on his skin, his fingers curled loosely around his hip like they belong there. If Nick didn't enjoy lying to himself so damn much maybe they would.

He turns his head to look at Sean again, lets his gaze travel over Sean’s lean back, the muscle definition visible through the undershirt gone threadbare from too many rough laundromat machines. He follows the lines of his back down the slope of his ass, the details hidden by the sheet pooled around his waist.

Nick groans and runs a hand down his face. He wants to yank the sheet off Sean and bury himself inside him.

And truthfully? He thinks Sean wants that too.

Nick sees the way Sean watches him when he thinks he isn't looking, it's like this mix of wanting and fear that Nick will disappear right before his eyes. Nick knows that look because he feels it on his own face when he looks at Sean.

But Nick hasn't been able to bring himself to act on it. The selfish side of him wants to, but he doesn't know how he could do that to Sean, not when the rest of his life can probably be measured in months.

Just then Sean stirs. Nick doesn't bother pretending to be asleep or any other cop out, he just turns his head and watches Sean wake up. He blinks a couple of times, those fucking eyelashes like butterfly wings.

“Hey,” he whispers, his voice thick with sleep. “Having trouble sleeping?” He asks, his eyes sliding closed again. He either hasn't noticed his arm wrapped around Nick’s middle or he's too asleep to care.

“Yeah,” Nick whispers back, leaving out that for once it’s Sean keeping him awake instead of the virus.

Sean peels his eyes open again and looks down at his arm. “You could've thrown my arm off of you,” he says while not bothering to move it himself.

Nick lets out a breath. “Wasn't bothering me,” he says casually.

They hold eye contact for a long moment, letting a comfortable silence sit between them. Nick feels a movement, and then Sean’s thumb is stroking Nick’s hipbone, the touch hesitant, a question. Nick answers it with an exhalation and they both move, their mouths meeting in the middle.

The kiss is soft, more tender than Nick thought either of them capable of, months of wanting pouring out in a trickle instead of a flood. They’ve twisted onto their sides, their bodies pressed tightly together from head to foot. Nick can feel that Sean is half hard against his thigh, and Nick is too, but for probably the first time in his life he’s content to ignore it for now. Sean must feel the same way because they just kiss, mouths and tongues meeting over and over, barely parting long enough for a breath of air. One of Sean’s hands is buried in Nick’s hair and he had no idea how badly he wanted this, Sean’s tongue in his mouth and his hand in his hair, the other hand splayed across Nick’s back like it's trying to touch as much skin as it can at once. Nick’s arms are wrapped around Sean’s middle, trying to hold him as close as possible.

Nick slides a hand down Sean’s back to the waistband of his underwear. His fingers slip inside and brush the cleft of his ass. Sean gasps softly into Nick’s mouth and his cock twitches against Nick’s leg. Nick rocks his hips and they both moan. Reluctantly, Nick breaks the kiss and rests his forehead on Sean’s while they catch their breath.

“I need to know you're ok with this, Sean,” he whispers.

Sean untangles his hand from Nick’s hair and cups his face. “Nick, don't be stupid,” he responds before pulling Nick in for a hungrier kiss.

Nick responds in kind, rolling Sean onto his back and following, letting his weight press Sean into the mattress. Sean’s legs part and his body slips between them like he was always meant to be there. Nick is fully hard now, and so is Sean, he can feel Sean’s cock against his own through their underwear. Nick’s fingers find the hem of Sean’s ratty tank top and yanks it up over his head. Their hot skin pressed together makes Nick dizzy with how much he wants him.

“Fuck me,” Sean breathes, so quiet for a moment Nick thinks he hadn't really heard him at all, but then Sean thrusts against him and repeats himself. “Nick, I'm serious, I want you to fuck me.”

Nick pulls back, just enough to look at him. He can see it in his eyes, Sean is sure about this. And he wants to, has been thinking about it for months. But he's brought back to that thought from before, how can this be fair to Sean?

But Sean is shaking his head. “I can see what you're thinking, it's written all over your face. I’m not going to let your self-destructive bullshit get in the way of this.”

“I just…” Nick trails off and pushes away, sitting back on his knees between Sean’s legs. Sean follows, loosely wrapping his arms around Nick’s waist as if to show him he’s not willing to let go. “I can't go back from this, Sean. If we do this I'm not going to be able to wake up tomorrow and pretend it didn't happen.”

“I don't want that either.”

“But it's probably what we should do. Sean, I've got an expiration date, either this virus gets me or the Forsaken does. Do you really want to start something with someone who probably won't see his next birthday?”

“You realize I probably won't either, right?” Nick winces at the thought, but Sean keeps going. “We’re getting closer and closer to finding your Forsaken every day, do you think I'm just gonna sit in the car and let you fight him alone? Fuck no,” Sean pulls him in for another soft kiss. “I'm in this with you, for better or for worse.”

Nick smirks, “Careful there, keep talking and you're gonna accidentally marry us.”

Sean rolls his eyes. “Does the joking mean you're not gonna freak out on me?”

“It means I'm not gonna freak out on you right now. It means I'm willing to put aside my self-destructive need to point out all the ways in which this is a bad idea. It means,” he lowers them back down to the mattress, “I want to fuck you too.”

“That’s the smartest thing you've ever said to me.”

Nick shuts him up with his mouth. They kiss for a long time, their kisses hungrier and needier than before. Nick thrusts against him a couple of times, grinding Sean’s ass into the mattress.

“Fuck,” Nick whispers, breaking the kiss. “We don't have anything.”

“Actually…” Sean says, looking both amused and a little guilty.

Nick’s jaw drops. “You slut!” He jokes. He rolls off of Sean and lets him get up to go rifle through his duffel. “So what, you've been banking on getting into my pants?” He watches Sean bend over his duffel, admiring the outline of Sean’s ass through his boxer briefs, barely visible in the dim moonlight streaming through the blinds. He takes the opportunity to slip off his own underwear.

“Truthfully I thought this would've happened sooner,” Sean says, back still turned.

“I wanted it to. I've wanted it for a while, it was just…” Nick gestures vaguely, but he knows Sean gets it.

“Yeah-” Sean starts, breaking off when he turns around and finds Nick completely naked on the bed. His lips part, and Nick’s dick twitches at the thought of those lips around his cock. Sean tosses a couple items on the bed and shucks his own underwear off. Nick glances down and finds a bottle of lube and a condom. He looks back up and Sean is standing there completely naked. It isn't actually the first time Nick’s seen him naked, it's impossible to achieve complete privacy in less than three hundred square feet, but he's never felt like he’s had the right to look until now.

So he looks. Sean is beautiful, all lean muscles and soft skin. Nick lets his eyes take in Sean’s cock, it makes him want to drop to his knees right now. But he’s dying to fuck Sean, he wants to make Sean come for the first time with his own cock buried deep inside him.

Sean climbs back on the bed and Nick immediately rolls on top of him. They both moan when their bare cocks rub together, and it takes all of Nick’s willpower to not hold Sean down and thrust against him until they both come. Instead he backs off a little, grabbing a pillow and sliding it under Sean’s ass to lift his hips. He picks up the lube and squeezes a generous amount onto his fingers.

“Have you done this before?” Nick asks, suddenly needing to know.

“It's been a while, but yeah,” Sean replies, and the answer reassures Nick. He slips his hand between Sean’s legs and presses a finger inside him. He groans when he feels Sean’s tight heat, can't imagine how he's going to survive that around his dick. He squeezes a second finger into him and Sean moans, rocking his hips down onto Nick’s fingers. Nick works his fingers quickly, stretching Sean open. Sean props himself up on his elbows to watch, his head dropping back with moans of pleasure when Nick thrusts his fingers deep. Nick slows his hand, taking in Sean’s flushed cheeks, his pupils blown with lust, he's struck again by how goddamn beautiful Sean is. “Jesus Nick, are you trying to make me come from just your fingers?” Sean asks, his body clenching around him.

Nick grins at him and angles his fingers for a hard thrust, his grin widening when it causes Sean to cry out. He reluctantly removes his fingers and grabs the condom, he tears the foil with his teeth and quickly rolls it on and slicks himself up with more lube. He grabs Sean’s thighs and hauls them up, Sean responds by wrapping his legs around Nick’s waist. Nick bends forward and captures Sean’s mouth with his own in a deep kiss as he guides his cock to Sean’s entrance. He slowly presses inside, giving Sean time to adjust. 

“You’re not gonna break me,” Sean complains, pulling him tighter with his legs.

Nick presses a kiss to Sean’s jaw and complies, thrusting hard into him. Nick moans into Sean’s skin and Sean lets out a strangled gasp of pleasure. They begin to move together, in sync like they'd done this a hundred times before, and it's so good Nick’s questioning why they haven't. He nuzzles the crook of Sean’s neck, he wants to sink his teeth in, leave a mark, but he can't risk breaking the skin because Sean can’t fight the infection.

He ignores the part of himself that wants to bite him because of that.

So instead he settles for gripping Sean’s hip so hard he knows he’ll have a bruise tomorrow. He's going to come soon, it's been too long since he's been with someone, he hasn't been since before he was bitten, and Sean’s breathy moans are making it hard to hold back. But he thinks Sean isn't going to last much longer either. He reaches between them and grasps Sean’s cock, determined to make him come first. Sean thrusts up into his hand and then down onto his dick. It doesn't take much of that for Sean to come, his hole clamping down on Nick like a vice. Nick thrusts hard into Sean and he comes too, a long moan spilling from his lips.

All his energy spent, he pulls out of Sean and rolls to his side of the bed. He pulls the condom off and tosses it in the general direction of the trash can, something to worry about in the morning. He grabs Sean’s undershirt and wipes himself off with it, and then wipes Sean down.

“That's my tank top,” Sean half heartedly protests, his eyes already sliding closed.

“That thing is one laundromat away from disintegrating, I did you a favor,” Nick replies, tossing it in the same direction as the condom.

“Oh shit,” Sean gasps, snapping back awake. “Can the virus be sexually transmitted?”

Nick gives him a look. “Do you think I would've fucked you if it was? The guy that gave me my meds explained it, it's like injected by our teeth or some shit, I don't know, point is it has to be a bite.”

Sean relaxed. Nick sits up and grabs the sheet from where it had been bunched up at their feet. Sean rolls onto his side and Nick fits himself in behind him, his arm loosely circling Sean’s waist. He brushes his nose against the back of Sean’s neck, breathing in the smell of his skin.

“You know we have to talk about this tomorrow,” Sean whispers, lacing his fingers through Nick’s.

Nick closes his eyes, sleep threatening to overtake him. “That's a problem for tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from a Siken poem


End file.
